How to Obliterate Limiting Beliefs in 3 Easy Steps: Imagine that I’m there beside you telling you "Anything is Possible for YOU."How do you react? Do you say, "Wow – great news, Jinny! I’ve been waiting for someone to tell me that my whole life!" That would be great, but if that isn’t your reaction, welcome to the human race!
We are so hard on ourselves, filled with negative beliefs, assumptions, thoughts, feelings and paradigms about what’s wrong with us or how we’re a victim of circumstances. And most of the time we’re unaware how the mindless self-talk is guiding – and limiting -- everything we do.
In all my many years of coaching people, I’ve never met anyone without a Monkey Mind – that little voice that runs a constant commentary on what’s wrong with us and why we can’t get what we want and need in life. So, while the voice will always be there, you can keep it from controlling your life and the results you achieve.
The good news is that shifting limiting beliefs is absolutely possible, and you can do it. It’s going to take some work to discover what your strongest ones are, but for a long time we have been using a 3-question exercise that works to generate a personal transformation. And it takes 30 minutes or less to complete this exercise – and it works!
There is NOTHING more exhilarating and powerful than OBLITERATING one of our strongest limiting beliefs!
In this blog I’m sharing about the 3rd Principle of Personal Transformation: Shift Limiting Beliefs. To review here are the 5 Principles with links to other Best Year Yet blogs that elaborate and inspire.
3. Shift Limiting Beliefs
5. Set your Top 10 Goals and Track Them
Your thoughts and feelings lead you directly to the results you produce in your life. Exactly and precisely. It’s called the Law of Attraction. What you put out comes back – in a frighteningly quick and exact fashion. Energy out matches energy in. Thoughts out match results in. Feelings create your life.
You create your future for yourself. It’s not just my good idea – it’s a proven fact of life. Energy out matches energy in this world. It’s a law, and I’m sure you’ve heard many times before, in many ways:
Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy!
Like attracts like!
What goes round, comes round!
As ye sow, so shall ye reap!
What you focus on is what you get!
You are an extremely powerful person whether you have figured this out or not. And you are always using your power – believe me. It’s just that you’re either using it in positive or negative ways – either you’re predicting success or you’re predicting failure.
Whatever you predict is what you’ll get because that’s where you’ve focused your power. Focus your power on making more money and you’ll make more money. Focus your energy on your fear that you’re not going to make it – you’ll fail to achieve your dream. It’s automatic, it works and it’s very real.
Right now – as you sit there reading this blog – could be your moment to shift from being the victim to being the master of your fate. Keep reading and then answer the 3 questions at the end of this blog.
Our minds are incredible devices that store information, reason, memories, and dreams. But they can also be devious – cataloguing negative experiences in a way that we lose confidence in our ability to produce results and in ourselves. We seem to have a great ability to remember our failures and our stupidities – and then weave complex stories about what we can and cannot do.
Once we’ve lived with these for long enough, we are convinced beyond a doubt that they are true - no question about it. We believe every bit of negative garbage our mind recounts for us - regardless of the amount of proof we have that argues against it.
And it gets worse. Now that we’re living in this mental and emotional environment of low confidence and fear of failure, we are programmed to avoid taking risks. When you think about how you behave, you can easily detect this old program at work.
How else do you account for the fact that we avoid doing the things that matter most while spending our time doing things that bring far less reward and fulfillment? What other explanation are there for the fact that we don’t pick up the phone and take the step that could bring us the result we’re looking for? Yes, it’s scary. But the only thing that makes it scary is the fear of failure. “As long as I don’t pick up the phone, I haven’t failed yet”.
And the final bit of bad news about the negative capacity of your mind is that you, like all of us, want above all to be right. Even about the dumbest things! It’s so perverse. “See, I knew he’d say NO!” OR “Well – didn’t get the raise. What did I expect?” OR “I knew I couldn’t stick to this exercise routine with all the challenges in my life!! What did I tell you?” This insidious little game is so costly – again, we have to wake up to how we’re limiting ourselves and rise above these old habits.
So here are the 3 steps to creating this moment of change and transformation, and have the tool you need to obliterate your strongest limiting paradigm. Make sure that you WRITE YOUR ANSWERS – don’t just think about it.
STEP 1 How do I limit myself?
Write a list of ways in which you limit yourself by things you do, things you fail to do and ways you behave that don’t bring the results you want. You’re answering the question, How do I limit myself?
Here are some sample responses:
I don’t take time to think about what’s really important to me.
I listen to other people’s opinions more than my own.
When I’m really attracted to someone, I don’t do anything about it.
I don’t stand up for myself.
STEP 2 How do I explain my limitations?
Now discover how you explain these behaviors. What do you tell yourself to justify acting in these ways. You’re answering the question, What do I say to explain my failures?
Here are some sample responses:
I’m too old to look for a better job.
I’m so unattractive, no one would be interested in me.
I’ll never be rich – I’m lucky to be earning.
I don’t stand up for myself.
If these statements are true, what are your possibilities for success?
STEP 3 How can I stop limiting myself?
Now create a new positive belief or paradigm – one that describes the new reality for you – the way YOU want it to be. I’m achieving amazing results everywhere I go! Or, I make the right choices! These new beliefs guide you to be the person you want to be – and give you a place to shift your focus when the Monkey Mind jumps in.
|Limiting Paradigms||New Paradigm|
|I’m lucky to have anybody||I can have anyone I want.|
|I know best.||I enjoy learning from others and succeed far more quickly with their support.|
|I want more money but I’m not worth any more than I’m making now.||Money is abundant and flows spontaneously in my life.|
|I can’t do what I really want to do.||Life wants me to have what I want.|
|I’m not good enough.||I have much to offer and I enjoy finding places to give.|
Remember – your limiting beliefs are the lies! Your New Paradigm is the truth. You might not realize that yet – most of us don’t.
Once you’re satisfied with your New Paradigm, work hard to deepen your belief in the words, to recognize that it's the truth you’ve always wanted others to discover – you’ve known it all along! Above all, make it visible - in a place you can see it during the day. Use your imagine to figure out ways to learn to shift to this new paradigm when the old Monkey Mind speaks up!
Here’s a great way to get started bringing your New Paradigm to life:
Gather 500 toothpicks, matchsticks, beans, paper clips – whatever you have at the moment. Pick a time when you’re on your own and can focus deeply on the work you’re doing. Then pick up one of the items on the left, repeat your New Paradigm, and then place the item in a new pile on your right. Keep repeating the process until all the pieces have moved from left to right. Every time you say your New Paradigm, get even more deeply in touch with the truth of what you’re saying.
Taking the time to answer these 3 questions and complete the exercise to bring them alive is the best thing you can do for yourself today, this week, this year! Promise!
About the Author
Jinny Ditzler is the creator of the Best Year Yet® system, author of best-selling book Your Best Year Yet!, one of the founders of the modern coaching movement, and a regular Huffington Post contributor. While she gets a lot of the credit for being the founder of Best Year Yet®, she’s the first to say it could never have happened without the rest of the global team, all of whom contributed valuable knowledge, skill and talent to bring the program to its current status.
Jinny started coaching business leaders and executives 35 years ago, and in the early 1990’s her work evolved to include top business teams and organization-wide programs, designed to transform the way people work together to achieve better results and happier companies.
Jinny is currently writing a new book and coaching people whose intention is to make a positive impact. Having lived and worked in the UK for 18 years, she and her husband Tim now live in Denver, Colorado. They have two sons, two daughters (in-law), and four granddaughters.